Gratitude for a Stranger

Thank you for asking if I have eaten every night at seven.

And if I say I haven’t, you’ll rush at my door and we’ll 

walk to our favorite spot to eat, talk and bask not in our food

but in the presence of each other’s company.

Thank you for the unspoken language of love,

expressed with every touch, every glance, and in the silence.

That even though the right words were unuttered,

the rhythm of our heartbeats articulate what we truly feel.

Thank you for playing this emotional tug-of-war with me

and letting me win this game even though

I surrendered completely even before it has begun. 

And though I kept on raising my white flag,

you kept on pushing and pulling by your lonesome,

just because this game is the only thing that connects us,

the only thing that makes us feel alive,

and the only thing you know that will remind me of you.

Thank you for giving me my space

while you watch from a distance tearful.

You never got tired of pulling while I kept on pushing.

But despite that, you let me think I won the game

though I don’t really know how it worked.

Thank you for allowing me to figure this out on my own.

But it was too late, I’ve learned the mechanics

when you’ve found a new match to play with.

So now it’s my turn to just watch you from a distance tearful.

Thank you for still playing the same game that connected us,

for the stolen side glances that speak for us in the silence,

and for continually dancing the rhythm of our heartbeats 

in the quietness of our passion.

Thank you, even though you don’t know it,

your memories give me reasons to be delighted,

your memories paint my dull routine,

and the slightest pain that your memories bring, give me blissful recollection.

Thank you for not telling me that this is all an illusion

and for not confirming it all happened

because this mystery gave me reason to be alive- 

to still play this game while we both watch each other from a distance tearful,

not with resentment or regret but with grateful hearts that yearn. 

Rain on a Summer

Under one umbrella, I pulled you closer

Both rattled when I grabbed your shoulder

You stared where my hand landed

Didn’t move, nervous and jittered

You’re presence, warm as the summer

My feelings, bizarre as this weather

Our heartbeats, silenced and drowned

By the sun’s warmth and heavy rain’s sound  

As the downpour plays strange music

The sun danced to its peculiar tune

Oh is this some kind of sorcery

Elated, confused but still happy

It echoes longingness

Though you’ve always been near

Oh the burden of the unspoken

Mimicked by the cries of heaven

But confusion got the better of me

And feared what we ought to be

So I took my hand off, as you looked at me baffled

You gazed back at your shoulder, now this made me wonder

What were you thinking back then

When the rain poured heavy and the sun shone brightly

And as we walked slowly, body to body

Was it pure bliss or just pure silence and perplexity?

Walls and Kisses

JFZ

Six years after we’ve parted

I finally owned to misery

In these shaking hands, my face I burry

But tears overflow, they’re just too many.

I tried to kill all emotions

But all those years were for naught

Victim of my own pretension

Thought I’m better off alone

You said one brick at a time, we’ll build our castle tall

But I used those bricks to build a sturdy wall

Yet, no matter how strong my walls maybe

Your tender loving kisses, tear it down easily.

When was the last time you touched me?

I feel you beside me

When was the last time our eyes met?

I see you from the walls I made.

I’m sorry you’ve grown tired

Now I’m trapped from my own prison

Trying hard to break free

Still trapped from my own prison

  

So I’ll content myself, peeking through the hole

From your last attempt to kiss down my wall

But I can’t see you now, my eyes are murky

Tears overflow, they’re just too many.

Inside these walls are just memories

Inside these walls are just maybes

Though weak and now flimsy,

Don’t try to kiss it down, we’ll hurt so many

So I’ll content myself, peeking through the hole

From your last attempt to kiss down my wall

But I can’t see you now, my eyes are murky

Tears overflow, they’re just too many.

The ifs, the memories, the maybes are just too many.